honest truth. almost every day (at some point) i feel lost.
not the poetic kind. not the "i'm on a journey" kind.
the kind where you're staring at what you're building and genuinely ask.. does any of this matter.
the tools i learned six months ago are different now.
a workflow i built last week is already obsolete.
i think, “someone out there is using the same tools and getting more out of them”.
it’s not imposter syndrome. just.. tuesday.
if you're building something right now and the creative uncertainty feels like like a tsunami..
i share the feeling.
🧭 the comfort version
there's this whole genre of content that exists to make you feel better about this.
"you're not lost, you're finding yourself."
"trust the process."
"clarity comes after action."
i believe training positivity can be a valuable skill if done correctly, but when you're in the middle of building something and the ground is shifting.. affirmations can feel a little imaginary.
as in…
hard question: what if the map never comes?
not "the map hasn't arrived yet." not "clarity comes after action."
what if there is no map. what if this.. building without a roadmap, recalibrating every week, never feeling settled.. what if this isn't a phase?
what if this is just what building looks like. permanently.
i sat with that for a while and honestly.. it’s an unsettling thought.
because the idea that "you're not lost" assumes there's a destination where the lostness stops.
but what if it doesn't? what if the people who build real things aren't the ones who found clarity.. they're just the ones who learned to build without it.
the mapless territory isn't the obstacle. it's the terrain.
🌀 what the research says about the feeling
judson brewer studies what happens in your brain when uncertainty becomes a loop.
his work on anxiety and habit loops shows that the brain treats ambiguity like a threat.. and tries to think its way out. but thinking without acting just feeds the loop.
rumination disguised as productivity. i do this constantly.
sit with a question, turn it over, feel like i'm making progress because i'm thinking about it.. but nothing moves.
ethan kross calls it chatter. the inner voice on a track, going nowhere. the people who handle uncertainty well aren't the ones who resolve it.. they're the ones who act inside it without needing resolution first.
amishi jha proved something related.. attention is trainable. staying focused while everything shifts isn't a talent. it's merely reps.
so the feeling of being lost isn't a sign something's wrong.
but it's also not a genius signal that you're "early."
it's just how a nervous system behaves when the inputs keep changing.
🔨 what i do about it
not prescribing this. just saying what i do.
i use the tools. not read about them. use them. build something, break it, figure out why it broke.
reid hoffman calls this permanent beta.. you're never the finished version. you're always the draft.
i track where my predictions don't match outcomes. not formally. just noticing.
i thought this would take a week, it took three. i thought this feature mattered, nobody used it.
the delta between expectation and reality is the real data.
and i try to separate building from worrying about building.
tim ferriss has this fear-setting exercise.. instead of defining goals, define fears.
what's the worst that happens if this doesn't work?
usually the answer is way less catastrophic than the ambient anxiety suggests.
but honestly? most days i just show up and do the next thing.
there's no system for this. there's no framework.
it's just.. keep building and trust that the accumulation means something even when it doesn't feel like it.
🔮 the part i can't resolve
i hold two things at the same time and neither one wins.
i feel lost. regularly.
the tools we are using move too fast.
the ground shifts under everything, and i'm not sure the things i'm building today will be the things that matter tomorrow.
and also.. i might be building the right things for a world that doesn't exist yet.
kevin kelly talks about how the biggest opportunities are the ones with the most question marks around them.
??????opportunity??????
the things that feel uncertain aren't uncertain because they're wrong..
they're uncertain because they're new.
the feeling of being lost and the reality of being early might be the same feeling. and you don't get to know which one it is until later.
brene brown spent twelve years studying what happens when people act without certainty.
her finding.. vulnerability isn't weakness.
it's where new things come from.
every creative act starts in not-knowing.
it’s a birthplace, not an obstacle.
so maybe the question isn't "am i lost or am i early."
maybe the question is..
can you keep building everyday without knowing if you’re an idiot or a genius?
because realistically, that's probably the skill.
not navigating with a map. rather, navigating without one.
and continuing to build anyway.
—riley